Tiger Airways Still Selling Tickets... For Singapore Airline’s Cargo Hold

Australian domestic carrier Tiger Airways today unveiled an audacious plan to resume services and meet consumer demands in the face of ongoing Civil Aviation Safety Authority investigation- and it will weigh heavily on the cargo holds of its parent carrier, Singapore Airlines.

In a bid to prevent further ticket refunds while simultaneously co-operating with the civil aviation board’s ban on domestic flights following safety concerns, the local carrier has begun issuing seating for space in the cargo and baggage areas of Singapore Airline’s international flights. Today’s statement confirmed that several services would now be streamlined as a result of the move, such as meals, check-ins, in-flight entertainment and sanitary requirements, although safety standards would actually improve over what they were prior to the grounding.

The airline has addressed the glaring issue of utilising international carriers for domestic routes by insisting that parachutes will be made standard on all flights from next month. It is understood that Tiger Airways’ safety team has ordered copies of The A-Team television show and several James Bond films as a means of understanding parachute safety and deployment.

An airline spokesman further clarified: “We understand that this may seem like a rash and greedy move on our part to try and recover our considerable losses, however we want to ensure everyone that this has been planned for months. Why else do you think we had two planes fly under the minimum safety height over Melbourne last month? They were simply practicing future domestic drops! And I must also stress that apart from nearly clipping the control tower and what may have been a duck, they did a pretty good job.”

The move has already won some support from the consumers, particularly from one Sydneysider, who, thanks to today’s announcement, is now planning to change his workplace to Melbourne whilst residing in Sydney. His rationale behind the move is that a flight and subsequent parachute drop into Melbourne from Sydney would be much faster than to drive on Sydney’s motorways in peak-hour traffic.